Saturday, January 31, 2004

Oh, and as my first anniversary of blogging is soon to be upon us, I am planning a few changes around here... watch this space.

Well, it's all happening in the land of blog... Peter is getting married today (a million women weep), H is having a merry old time "finding herself" in Thailand, Billy is reminiscing about his childhood, Cacoa is debating whether it is better to marry a British bloke or an Arab one, Fat Buddha is playing philosophers, London Mark is shaking his Beyonce booty, and somewhere Elsie is blogging elsewhere.......

Wednesday, January 28, 2004


Yay! It's bloody snowing, and not the crap usual London snow, ie. a few flakes for a few minutes... it's proper snowing!

Urgh. Someone found my site by searching Google for "pictures of human faeces". I mean I know I'm a nurse, but really.... I am definitely attracting a weird fringe element.

Oh, and I found out yesterday that in 1 weeks' time, my dad is coming to stay for 8 (eight) days! Have to start thinking of days out to amuse ourselves....


Went to bed last night at around 8.30pm with electric blanket and book. Was intending to have a spook-fest at 9pm with Crimewatch and the lights off, but unfortunately fell asleep. Awoke at 8.30 this morning feeling refreshed, but starving... but still no snow in London bah!

Tis The Boyfriend's (36th) birthday today, but unfortunately he's working in a gay bar (no, really). Haven't quite got round to getting him a pressie yet...did see nice army-type jacket in Gap t'other day, but it requires trying on, so no surprise presents this year methinks. A trip to Oddbins might be on the cards.

I'm going to brave the cold and battle public transport to get me to the gym ASAP.... then I can be back in the flat by lunchtime and remain all nice and toasty for the rest of the day. The word "biddy" springs to mind.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

brr... i take that back... i'm chilly now. :o(

Big Chill?

Seems just as bloody cold as it is normally this time of year. If not a bit milder.... hmm.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Oh, and now you can leave comments, courtesy of Haloscan.

I am just about to start a book: The Quincunx, by Charles Palliser. I picked this up in an odd little bookshop in North Shields (Tyneside) called Keel Row Books. This bookshop is a rummager's paradise, as it's actually a semi-detached townhouse filled with books in every room. Even the staircases are lined with books. It's run by a nice chap called Bob (always a winner!). If you're planning a visit, best to go in summer, as the upstairs rooms have no heating. Many an afternoon has been spent shivering in a winter coat in the upstairs back room looking for bargains. And there are many to be had - I picked up the Quincunx book for about three quid. So what you say, well it is brand new (no creases on the spine here, folks), in mint condition and is a door-stopper at 1200 pages. So if you are ever in the chipper north-east of England and fancy a rummage, check it out. Meanwhile, I'm off to start said book...

After a muddy trek round Hampstead Heath, I have been on a marathon cleaning-session, and feel much better for it. Have just read somewhere that Jordan is to be on I'm a Celebrity, and if she is bitten by an insect, her implants could explode. Gripping viewing, no?

Feel like I need some fresh air today - maybe a long walk in Regent's Park or Hampstead Heath will do the trick... I find my place of work a bit depressing sometimes, as there's no windows (and 99% of the patients smell of wee or parmesan-feet). Sometimes you just need to get out in the open, no?

Had a bizarre dream about Noddy Holder from Slade - even in the dream I was thinking "how come so many women in the '70s found him attractive". Also present was the bass player from The Darkness. Weird. I managed to be in bed by 10pm, watched tv for amoebas (The Luvvies), and then fell asleep until 9.30am. So I am up brght and early and am intending to make the most of it. Don't feel like going to the gym today... so parks here I come!

Oh, and comments are not working for some reason....

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Well... it's all mapping out nicely... have signed up for a part-time Open University MSc course (Psychological Research Methods), the first module starts in May. Start voluntary research work in March with the pregnant HIV patients.

Plus! My bird is back from its' Xmas holidays, and we now have a new sofa! AND I have a day off tomorrow yay!

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Oh and I might have to change my deodorant or something.. The Boyfriend still hasn't had a day off... it's two and a half weeks now!

Got up at 9.30 on my day off... whilst I have managed to do quite a lot today (even went to the gym!)... it has all been a big mistake! I'm ready for bed and Clive Bull already... and he's not even on yet!

Went to see the psychologist today - she was most helpful. Said I'm best off doing a part-time MSc, and doing one day a week voluntary research assistant psychologist work with her. She has three interesting projects going on, and I can pick which one I want to do. One is interviewing pregnant women who've just been diagnosed with HIV, another is with HIV patients and lookingat the reasons they decide to change their drug therapy, and the third one is talking to people who have found an abandoned baby and asking how they feel about it and everything.... so all quite different, but all very interesting. Might go for the pregnant women one... anyway, things are looking up!

Monday, January 19, 2004

Had a pig of a day at work... feeling lost for words / things to blog about... in a Billyworld stylee, I request questions / blogable topics I can use......

Sunday, January 18, 2004

What's new in the world of The Dove?.... not a lot. Hoping to make some extra cash by selling some old textbooks on Amazon. Only put them on last night and have sold one already. Trying to have a "clear out your clutter" moment really. Next stop: the wardrobe (but I have said this a million times before).

In the cold light of January, here are the NY Resolutions, revised edition:

1. Buy a house - already making progress with this one, as have applied for the KeyHomebuyer scheme. Just waiting to hear back now.
2. Look after hands - having a job which entails washing your hands a million times a minute is not really good for your skin.
3. Do more creative writing - this one hasn't happened so far...plenty time in 2004 left tho.
4. Write in journal - have started up a new, private blog for this purpose.
5. not to buy any more books till 2005 - haha broke this one already (but it was a psychology textbook, does that still count? I meant novels anyway... ahem). But I am clearing more space by selling some old books. So I can afford to replace them no?
6. Sort out wardrobe situation - yes, this new addition is a must. My clothes are bursting out of the bedroom, and I don't even wear half of them.
7. Make more time to tidy up / do housework. I am v.slack with this one. Usually we have one room which is fairly tidy, but due to there being NO storage space in our flat whatsoever, and us generally being fairly untidy anyway, haven't done so well with this one so far.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Yay! Last night shift of the week tonight! Nearly finished the Little Friend...really good book, especially towards the end (and I've not even finished yet!).. although not as good as the Secret History. I await eagerly DT's 3rd book. Next on the list to be read is probably a psychology book, in preparation for my meeting re: sorting out career on Tuesday.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Still awake! Maybe I should go for that Channel 4 programe Shattered. On a positive note, have come across a marvellous website all about my favourite subject: Charvas (thanks to NYTOO)

Also heard from the psychology woman who will meet me next week to discuss my future prospects! yay!

Same Old Same Old...

Aah how many times have I posted this! I'm on nights tonight (boo!) and have been up since 10.30am... have muchos things to do today, including supermarket shopping, sorting out washing, boring, boring, etc... and also trying to go back to bed at some point (usually unsuccessfully). I hate nights! grrrr!

Sunday, January 11, 2004

Black Dove: The Teenage Years

After another fun-packed day at work de-lousing homeless alcoholics, I am re-living my teenage years here and am having a little glass of vino (natch) and listening to some punk and goth-rock classics of my hey-day. Of course I am too young to actually remember punk, but I recreated my own punk-era circa age 15. In Newcastle in those days, all the "misfit" teenagers (the hippies, goths, metallers, punks and the like) all used to hang around in this park / peace garden thing called Old Eldon Square (known as "The Green" to its' friends). I guess I had always had "unusual" taste in music, compared to other kids my age.. for instance, I was really into Bon Jovi and Fuzzbox (god, remember them?!) at the age of 9, when all my friends at school liked Bros and Rick Astley (you know who you are!).

When I was 13, I started off by listening to The Beatles and the Doors, and wearing Indian clothes, lots of black eyeliner and long purple skirts, around age 14. I dyed my hair black, and wore black nail varnish. This then progressed on to listening to Metallica (14 year old staple), Faith No More and Slayer (another teenage necessity)...the clothes got a bit more 'way-out' as my mother would say, I got more ear-piercings, wore more eyeliner and drank a lot more alcohol. Next phase: the death-metal / punk stage: required listening was Paradise Lost (I saw them live in what used to be the Riverside club in Newcastle, sadly one silly girlie who insisted on dancing in the mosh-pit with all the big blokies got kicked in the face by a stage-diver.. nice), Napalm Death (what were they singing / shouting about??), and little-known punk bands such as the 4-skins (there were four of them, they were all skinheads... geddit?!) and Oi Polloi. I shaved the sides of my hair off (my mother actually cried!), wore knee-high lace-up steel toecap boots, and wore 1950s cocktail dresses with them (with classy donkey jacket over the top!). Ahem. Fortunately there exists no photographic evidence with which anyone can blackmail me in the future.

Warning! Here comes the serious bit... I suppose it was all a "rebellion" thing... especially since I was going to a ram-religion-down-your-throat all-girls' private school at the time. But in some ways I used to "hide" behind my seemingly confident and unusual appearance... when I stopped dressing this way (at around age 17) all my eating problems began to come out more.. I guess that I always felt different to everyone else, and when I was wearing the 'different' clothes and stuff I was showing how I felt. But then when I couldn't hide behind the clothes, I turned to another thing to focus on how different I was to everyone else (or so I thought), and that was food. Or the lack of it in those days. When I kicked the eating disorder that was my major feeling: I don't have an identity anymore. I am not a "punk / hippy / goth / whatever", I am not "bulimic / anorexic / a dysfunctional eater" ... so what am I? I would say this is what has taken the longest to come back after it all... the eating was back to normal way before I figured out what I was all about (and I'm not saying that I know that totally even now).

God, who'd have thought a bit of The Buzzcocks and Siouxsie would have brought all that out? No wonder people say goths are miserable! I'm off to listen to a bit of Kurt... that'll really cheer me up!

Mr. Jarvis Cocker
You are Jarvis Cocker from Pulp.
"I think people who think they're sexy have
got problems."

What gloomy rock musician are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, January 10, 2004

Legs are starting to ache a bit now... spent my evening curled up on the sofa under the blanket watching Vertigo .... not seen it before... ruddy marvellous!

Went to the gym today for the first time since before Xmas (due to work, work, eating lots and going away)... my god! You can tell it's new year - the spinning class I did was packed, the teacher even gave up her bike so someone else could use it. And because said teacher was not on a bike and therefore not actually doing any hard work, she worked us all like dogs. I feel like having a granny-nap now...... or I might watch one of the new dvds I bought t'other day....

Friday, January 09, 2004

Aah! Day off tomorrow! phew... just worked the past 2 days (which may not sound like much to you mon-fri 9-5ers, but for me doing two days in a row at 12 and half hours each shift is more than enough, thank you very much). Just having a nice glass o'wine (well, on number three now.. see Billy's very relevant post)and singing along to the RHCP. Here's the past two days of my life in numbers:

3 - number of homeless men's dangly bits I have happened to see by accident (one complete with living infestation)
2 - number of nurses on other wards who have implied I am not doing my job properly (feck orf evil witches!... err can you tell I had a couple of glasses of wine yet?)
1 - number of patients' shoelaces I have had to tie that were caked in human faeces (and one was more than enough)
5 - number of DVDs that arrived by post (hurrah!)
0 - number of DVDs that I have had time to watch thus far
25 - (approx.) number of lovely 2 bedroom flats in south london i have looked at on the internet
100 - the number of pounds sterling I have wasted paying my ruddy electricity bill for the last quarter
8 - the number of twelve hour shifts The Boyfriend will have done in a row by Monday (isn't that illegal or something?)
4 - number of days I have been trying to contact the psychology woman with no reply
3 - number of glasses of wine that will have been consumed in the past two hours

And there you have it. [ and you wonder why I want to leave nursing?! ]

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Embarrassing moments no. 245

Oh dear! I was out shopping (again!) today and I was in a shoe-shop with a friend. I tried on some knee-length pointy boots (as you do)... and I realised I had got the zip stuck. That piece of material that lines the zip had somehow got caught in it half-way up, and it wouldn't budge. I tried discretely pulling it in both directions, but no luck. Fortunately I was with a friend, and this provided no end of merriment. Especially since I haven't shaved my legs for some days, and they were not a sight I really wanted to draw attention to. However, as said boots were £60 I was keen to remove them incase I couldn't get them off and was made to pay for them. I signalled to the shop girl, who could see my predicament. She went away to "get something", while I had to remove my coat due to a profuse sweating attack. Feeling quite flustered by this point (but still in good humour) I was pleased to see the shop girl return with a shoelace. She mysteriously tied it to the zipper, and pulled the zip up with brute force. As if by magic, the zip went down again with no problem. I then removed myself from said boot, and heaved a sigh of relief. Oh and I bought a different pair of boots (the purple ones the girl is wearing in that picture below... I shall have to re-enact the image below once The Boyfriend gets home hehe). Half price as well mind! Aah the trauma was all worth it in the end...

Monday, January 05, 2004

This is fab! (linkpimped from Bifurcated Rivets)

Urgh. I'm shattered. Went to bed at 6am this morning, got rudely awoken by the postman at 10am and have been up ever since. Intended to go to yoga tonight... got to the gym, had a wee, and left! Couldn't face being pressed into a pretzel when I am on the verge of falling asleep.... early night for me!

Career Epiphany!

Well, after much thinking and indecision over the last 9 months or so about what I really want to do with my life... I have decided to just try to go for the clinical psychology. I have nothing to lose, and always have my nursing to fall back on if it all doesn't work out. I am enjoying nursing so far, but even before I qualified, I just felt that it's not "me", or what I want to do forever, and I would rather try to use the psychology degre I've already done. Clinical Psychology is nototiously difficult to get into, but I feel that if I don't at least give it a try, then I may end up regretting it. Spent a lot fo last night (when I was supposed to be doing a wardrobe overhaul, but hey what's more important?!) e-mailing various psychologists and asking for advice on what step I should make next (do a MSc or do some voluntary work or whatever) to try to get an assistant psychologists' job and then apply for the course after that. One kind lady has replied, and I am trying to ring her to make an appointment so that she can have a look at my CV and we can plan to "fill in the gaps". She also said she might have some voluntary work going. Marvellous!

Sunday, January 04, 2004

err...haven't quite started yet

Right! I must force myself to get off the internet and attempt to do a Trinny and Susannah on my wardrobe, as I am quickly running out of space in which to put my clothes, due to there being too many of them I don't actually wear anymore. Outcome pending...

Spend Spend Spend! (part 301)

Oops... I was on and got carried away! Have just ordered the following DVDs (and saved £40 compared to's prices!):



The Birds

Citizen Kane

The Third Man

Withnail and I

and also a special birthday surprise for The Boyfriend (not to be published here until the big day on the 28th Jan just in case he reads any of this rubbish).

Saturday, January 03, 2004

He does, and I follow.....

Pointless discussion of the day (number1):

Me and The Boyfriend had a conversation about there being five taste sensations - including that "new" one, Umami. Now I am not convinced that "Umami" is any different from being salty to be honest... I can't see the difference between soy sauce and salt... but anyway. This discussion was perhaps more interesting than normal, due to the fact thet The Boyfriend has no sense of smell. Even though I am a nurse, I have never met or heard of anyone (pre-The Boyfriend) who has this... and it even has a name - "Anosmia". Interestingly, he cannot taste the difference between lemon and lime, mint and parsley, gin and vodka... etc etc. Or salt and umami perhaps. Having a boyfriend who has no sense of smell has its pros and cons - on the up side, I can let one slip without anyone being the wiser. However, there have been numerous occasions when he has been cooking and has forgotten about it and has not been able to smell the smoke coming from the kitchen.

The Boyfriend was told once that he would be able to have an operation to correct his lack-of-smelling..... but he thinks it might just be too weird. Not having smelled anything for 35 years (old git!) and then being bombarded with a million and one smells all at once. I think he should go for it however. And then we might have a more even-footed discussion about salt and umami. Or maybe not.

P.S. This pseudo-intellectual discussion soon degenerated into us doing the Bob-and-Vic "Uvavu" and "Eranu" noises with matching facial expression accompaniment. How juvenile. But there you go.

Friday, January 02, 2004

Still on nights... last one tonight tho (yay!). NYE was surprisingly quiet... probably because we were prepared for a major onslaught. We had one end of the ward with mattresses on the floor as a Drink Tank, and were super-organised, but it was actually the quietest NYE in recent history. Oh well then. I was quite up for a busy night! Not to worry... been v.quiet all week actually. I'm getting through the Little Friend like there's no tomorrow!