Wednesday, September 10, 2003

At the request of a reader, here's a basic synopsis of the M.A.R.R.I.A.G.E. from hell.....

Age 14: met seemingly nice lad (he was 17) at "the green" in newcastle (park where all the hippies / metallers / goths hung out). Started going out. Parents were horrified to discover that he lived in a children's home (and I went to a private school hehe). Put-me-down comments and pressure for S.E.X. from seemingly-nice-lad-turning-nasty start about here (Eg. you're fat, rubbish, etc etc)

Age 15: seemingly nice lad joins the army and turns into seemingly laddish rogue. Eating problems start about here.

Age 16ish: discover that irritating bugger has been cheating on me with some German woman. Split up momentarily but foolishly get back together. Eating problems get much worse about here.

Age 18: discover that squaddie bastard has been cheating on me for over 2 years with various women (including a woman of "ill-repute"). About here I am in such a state of no confidence that I forgive yet again, and offer to get married for no other reason that I truly believe that I will never meet anyone else.

Age 19: after wedding with no family and hardly anyone there in Ireland, we leave for our new home in Germany. About here eating gets very hectic, weight plummets, exercise regime becomes more punishing, husband from hell makes me cook meals but then clean the whole kitchen before I am allowed to eat. I survive one month in Germany and then am back to England to start uni. Uni very stressful due to horrid phone calls from abroad accusing me of getting up to no good (when I in fact was doing nothing of the sort) and more verbal confidence-knocking.

Age 20: After one year of marriage (although not much of that spent together due to army constraints) it all comes to a sticky end: husband-from-hell and myself now living in army house in London. I go to see college friends in student union, him indoors says it's ok. I ring him to ask him to meet me from tube station as it's late (I'm not drunk in the slightest). Upon meeting me from Tube he starts hitting me in the arm and gettign all rather aggressive for no apparent reason. No one in street intervened. Got home and items were thrown at my head. I phoned a friend and left for her house. Told husband-from-hell he must move out in the next few days. He does so, after packing every single item of furniture and kitchen equipment (including cutlery!) into an impossible-to-get-into large package in the centre of the lounge, and threatening to come back to finish me off, as it were.

Age 21: lose the plot slightly, much drinking, drugs and dieting goes on about here. After failed attempt at counselling through uni, sought help in the form of going to GP. Told him I thought I had an eating disorder. He said "Well life does go on, even if you do have an eating disorder". How very helpful. Managed to get referral to local hospital at the right time, and also start working at local pub whilst at uni about here. Divorce papers come through hurrah!

Age 22: get myself sorted out, finish psychology degree and start going out with nice bloke who also works in pub, who is also current Boyfriend.

I do like happy endings! Sorry it's a bit long and waffly... but you did ask!


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